My grandfather passed away yesterday. I never knew that a man I never knew could have such a big impact on my heart. I wonder what I would have called him if I met him or what I would have said? I wonder what kinds of things we might have done together or the conversations we might have had. I wonder what he looked like, stood like, walked and talked like; who he was and could have been to me. All I know, is that he was my grandad, and that means the world to me. People talk about grief, but I never really understood; mourning was never close to me, thank the Lord. But now it is hitting me harder and closer than ever before.
Dear God, I feel tired and have no desire for joy, yet you fill my heart with it and moments of laughter. When all of me is weak, you have filled me with your strength and eyes to see. May I run ever nearer to Your side and may this time of sadness somehow glorify you. May you comfort those who knew my grandaddy and help us to remember and believe; trust that in the midst of sorrow, there is hope. Still, it is well with my soul.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10