Grandpa JO. My daddy told me that my grandaddy’s nickname was JO. I miss him though I never had the chance to meet him. More than anything in the whole wide world, all I want is to be with my mom, to feel her loving arms around me. But I know I have to wait.
The thought that runs through my heart is: I simply desire to be home. But home is so much more than the empty, quiet, brick walls. It is being with the people that I love the most; it is feeling the security and love of familiarity; family.
One of the most amazing blessings and truths is that God adopted me into His family when I asked Him to be my Lord and Savior, my Abba, my Father. That means that I have numerous brothers and sisters in Christ who can be my family, when my physical one cannot be with me, and I sure have seen that displayed here at college in these past few weeks. Endless gifts and hugs and prayers remind me that I have brothers and sisters whom I can lean on and share and be real with, and it is such a gift.
The heartache of losing someone so loved has led me to a deep sorrow in my heart, and I know it may take a while to heal. But praise the Lord that He delights in us and longs to heal us; that He cares for someone so sinful and broken as me (1 Peter 5:7).
Throughout this time, I pray Lord Jesus for a beautiful story to unfold of how you heal and transform and shape me to worship and love you with more of my heart. I pray that I would love you more deeply and be filled with your joy; that you may be strong as I am weakest. I pray for the heart to run ever faster to Your arms, Abba.
Father, may I turn ever closer to you, the only one who knows every part of me, just how to heal me. I “do not know what to do, but [my] eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12).