Today I walked on the lines, the fragile cracks of the sidewalks. Today for dinner, I ordered avocado toast + chocolate chip pancakes (double carbs, no protein!!). Today, I chose to spend time wit my family instead of being with my sweet friends. Today, I chose to do my homework and to miss out on pictures with friends (!!!) to have the time to do what I needed to do. Now, I am choosing to blog and to spend time with the Lord despite all the overwhelming things I have to do. And to be honest, it is stressing me out to the point of panic; I am greatly overwhelmed with the sweet thought of living in freedom, of being freed from the chains of my old life.
Something I have heard lately is that in those deepest moments of anxiety, there is a choice; to listen to the lies and sink, or to choose to listen to the voice of the Lord; the truth. Much easier said than done, because listening to the Lord requires a conscious choice to make a change from the voices that have become so familiar and comfortable and overwhelming. Listening to the voice of Jesus is so very radical, but my hope is that with each time I chose to say yes to Jesus and his truth, the chains will continue to fall farther away from me. I choose to believe that waiting on the other side of the lies is a sweet freedom.
Lord, please, may this be true, may I someday experience sweet freedom.