This semester has been filled with mountains and valleys of moments. I have felt both the most loved in the whole world, yet ached so deeply for affection at the same time. Plans that filled me with so much joy fell apart and led me to feeling deep discouragement and fear. This week has been crazy, as I try to spread myself all across campus, trying to love each and every person on campus to Jesus. But just as everything was beginning to come together, I became very sick.
The worst part about being sick is not having someone to take care of me. I called my mother, but it was nothing like having her sweet hugs, the comfort of a warm bath, and someone to constantly tend to my every need. It was a very painful and lonely experience, and I remember thinking, “God, how would I ever endure these pains in another country when I begin doing missions as I feel you have called me to, I cannot handle this pain, and I surrender.” Though the pain remained for awhile, it became more manageable as I realized that the Lord never asked me to do anything on my own; He is always with me and is my strength.
“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” ~ Psalm 28:7
Days can be lonely and unexpected troubles arise, but always the Lord is faithful, and a good Father and friend. My grandmother always sings the song, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear, what a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear. All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”
God is a good Father who longs for us to cry out to Him in prayer. A good Father wants to help his children and takes delight in being there for them, comforting them, and giving them what they need. When I am weak, God rejoices in being strong for me. When I am discouraged, He is my encouragement and carries me through.
My dad told me something special the other day, a song his mom used to sing to him when he had troubles and it goes like this:
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When don’t see his plan
When you can’t trace his hand
Trust His Heart“