A little background information about me: I am a special education major, and recently have felt in my heart a deeper love for people with severe disabilities and intellectual disabilities. I believe that God is changing my heart for people with disabilities from fear, uncomfortableness, and uncertainty to deep love, compassion, and care, and I am so very thankful.
Recently, I signed up to volunteer at my youth group’s camp. Despite the past hurt of rejection I had felt in high school at youth group and the ways I felt I had to try to earn the love of others, this camp was the place where I was first saved, and I want to serve the kids there that they too may know the love of Christ. The bus leaves in just a few short hours, and I am sitting here writing at two thirty in the morning because my heart is bursting with joy and overflowing with awe at God, and I cannot help but share.
A couple of hours ago, I began having chest pains. I have an irregular heartbeat, and have had these before. Usually, they’re manageable, but these felt different, so my mother insisted on taking me to the doctor. I brought my bag with my Bible, and my book on disabilities (Same Lake, Different Boat… an incredible book I would highly recommend!).
I checked in and sat with my mom who read to tell upon my request. I love hearing people read to me because it reminds me of being a little girl again, and that childish comfort and joy.
As I was lying down, I secretly hoped something was deeply wrong with me. That I would have a big battle where God would do miraculous things through me, or a dramatic story that would become a powerful testimony. But when the x-rays came back without anything wrong, I was a little disappointed, and confused. Why had God brought me here tonight? Was this time wasteful of my precious sleep I would need to serve for the next few days? But since prayer has been on my heart a lot recently, I whispered a prayer to God asking why have you brought me here, Lord? What do you have for me through this, and whatever happens, may you be glorified. I never expected Him to respond in such a beautiful and big way.
My mother asked the doctor about my ability to continue to serve at my Church’s youth retreat, and somehow our conversation began to shift to something much deeper and more beautiful. She was a believer, too, and let’s just say we had a lot in common.
I am working on writing an article about people’s attitudes and God’s heart towards disabilities. The doctor’s daughter happened to have special needs. I have been praying about dedicating my life to missions work. She leads missions trips over the summers for young adults like me. And her faith inspired and encouraged me in so many ways. What a God moment to see someone so passionate about following Jesus in her everyday job and life, and to see how God orchestrated such a meaningful conversation.
Friends, be encouraged that God can work through the simplest of things. Though I am uncertain of my abilities to serve well this week, I believe wholeheartedly that God will sustain me and help me to do whatever it is His will. And in the words of author, Lisa TerKeurst:
“God is good.
God is good to me.
God is good at being God.
And today is yet another page in our great love story.”
Yes, indeed, God has not forgotten about me. He loves me and is good to me, too, and is working through every detail of my life for His glory and my good. And for you as well.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.” ~ Romans 8:28