This morning, my phone broke… again. This is the fourth phone that I have had during my first year of college. When it first fell on the ground, I thought it would be okay, and kept moving on. The screen had already been cracked, so I figured it was nothing and went on with my meal with my friend at the Pfunky Griddle. She is such an encouragement to me, and I was so enamored by our conversation that I forgot all about my phone.
Once I returned back to my dorm, I realized that it wouldn’t turn on. I immediately began to panic. Fear and shame flooded my whole body as I realized that I had once again messed up and broken my phone. I couldn’t bear to think of the way that people would joke about how often I have broken my phone or the voice of others telling me to be careful, because no matter how careful I try to be, I continue to mess up.
I don’t have a job or anyway to pay for the damage that I caused, and I didn’t have a way to communicate. My friend from earlier graciously drove me to the Verizon store, where I was met with the sad news that they could not fix it for free. The screen was utterly broken, and just like it, I was crushed. Another fee for another phone.
But there was something so beautiful that happened through all of this. I texted my parents several times apologizing profusely, as I tried to earn back a place of favor and goodness in their eyes. And I received the sweetest response from my mom. Her first and immediate response was not to condemn or to shame me, but simply to say that it was okay. She said, we all make mistakes, and I love you.
Oh what joyous relief flooded my soul that I was, that I am okay. That I am still loved. There is nothing I can do to fix all those phones I have broken. I have no job or money to pay my parents back. I have tried over and over again to be careful and take good enough care of my phone, but have failed multiple times and been left with so much shame. And yet, she showed me grace.
My mom has truly helped me to see salvation in a beautiful new way, and is such a reflection of Christ to me in that. I have no means to pay her back for all that she and my dad have given me and done for me, all that I can do is say thank you and share that grace with others because it is so beautiful and sweet and such an act of gracious love. In the same way, Jesus has given me the gift of salvation that I do not deserve. Over and over again, I sin and mess up, yet, just like my mom and even more, He says I love you still and through it.
So thank you, mom, for showing me what it means to have such deep grace like Jesus and allowing me to practice simply receiving the gift of grace ❤️